Early Warning Signs: Upcoming Teen Problems

An early warning sign of any developing problem is often marked by a change in your child.

It may be dramatic, such as failing grades by a previously good student, or subtle, such as being very quiet at the dinner table. It may involve asking permission to do something that she has never before shown an interest in. An example would be someone who didn't like to hike asking to go hiking with friends in an attempt to camouflage experimenting with drugs or alcohol. It can be helpful to reflect objectively on your child's behavior routinely and note any changes. Have a discussion with her to share your concerns and create an opportunity to answer questions.

GANG ACTIVITY

What message does your child want to send to his peers? If you suspect gang activity, tell him why. Listen to his response. If he wants out of the gang you are halfway home. If he denies involvement, you will probably need to wait for law enforcement to get his attention. Tell him that you will be there when he wants to change, and get out of the gang. Remove all guns from your home, or lock them securely.

Gang involvement often fills the void for acceptance, approval and belonging that children may feel as a result of alienation from parents, other family members and close adult friends. It may also add an element of excitement to their lives.
What To Look For:

• A sudden change in friends.
• Significant changes in language and attitude, especially if they appear at the same time as new friends.
• Weapons. A youth with a weapon sees himself as either an aggressor or potential victim. Find out which, and why.
• Gang-related clothing.

What To Do:

• Include your child in family activities, decisions, vacations, meals, etc.
• Limit unsupervised time with peers.
• Get your child into the judicial system by reporting illegal activity and turning in any weapons.
• Discuss reasons that kids join gangs and ask your child if he sees any reason to join a gang.
• Discuss how the way a person dresses might send a message about him.

SHOPLIFTING

You might become alerted to a shoplifting incident when the police call to inform you that your child has been arrested. Chances are this is not the first incident.
What To Look For:

• New or different clothes.
• Items that seem to exceed your child's financial resources.
• A sudden change in friends.
• Significant changes in language and attitude, especially if they appear at the same time as new friends.
• Groups of 3 or more hanging out at the mall a lot.

What To Do:

• Communicate frequently, sincerely and with an open mind.
• Allow your child to feel the full brunt of consequences, including paying fines himself, doing community service, returning stolen items and apologizing, etc.
• Discuss the issue from the victim's point of view.

EATING DISORDER

While this is most common in girls, it also occurs in boys, especially those who must meet certain weight requirements for sports. Most eating disorders are not primarily about food. Issues such as family background, inhibition of anger, excessive self-expectations, the need for control, a tendency toward depression and low self-esteem are contributing factors to an eating disorder. Anorexia and bulimia are severe illnesses. Seek professional help early if you believe an eating disorder is developing. A younger person living with a supportive family has a better prognosis for recovering from an eating disorder than a person who struggles through high school or college and makes it to her twenties or thirties before seeking help. The most appropriate professional would be a clinical psychologist, psychiatrist or a Master of Social Work who has training in treating eating disorders.
What To Look For:

• A preoccupation with food, body appearance, or discussions of being "fat".
• Fasting (not eating at all).
• Binge eating (incredibly large meals).
• Vomiting after eating. Use of laxatives.
• Excessive exercise.
• The absence of menstrual cycles in girls.

What To Do:

• Be a positive role model.
• Don't criticize yourself or others for being fat, don't criticize your various body parts, accept diverse body shapes.
• Support healthy eating habits and discuss proper nutrition.
• Discuss her feelings about her body.
• Discuss the negative effects of dieting and laxative use, especially long-term.
• Discuss the benefits of moderate exercise and the negative aspect of excessive exercise.
• Do NOT get involved in dieting or weight loss schemes or criticizing your child's body shape.

—From the Editors of DriverEducation.com